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How this fat guy got his got his groove back

How this fat guy got his got his groove back

Over the last 18 months, I’ve lost 130+ lbs. Although I’ll sometimes nod when people congratulate me for thinking of my health, I really lost it because I wanted cuter and cheaper clothes. Well, at least that was why I thought I decided to lose weight. That is until I recently got real with myself and admitted that what I really wanted was to feel sexy again.

I’ve always been a bigger guy, it’s both genetics and the result of my distain for physical exertion. It’s never bothered me that I was fat because I always felt sexy. In the five years I spent matriculating at Eastern Michigan University, my sexy shifted from overdrive to reverse. It happened so gradually that I didn’t pay any attention to it. By the time I noticed, I’d already packed on extra weight to my already linebacker-esque frame and was therefore forced to wear a steady stream of mundane polos and ill-fitting jeans from Casual Male XL.

During this time, my sex life slowed to a trickle and eventually fell off completely. With the exception of exchanging blow jobs with a teddy bear-ish gentleman on the bleachers of my old middle school’s baseball field on the fourth of July 2011, I hadn’t had sex for the past three years. After a while, I got really comfortable with not having sex. Masturbation is an absolutely wonderful thing.

After a while, my professional life began to pick up; at one point I was juggling 10 different jobs and all of their various projects while taking 16 300-level credits. Being a 500+ lb guy doing all of that is a lot of damn work. Every day I would come home and just fall apart because I was so tired. I wasn’t having much of a social life and I was just sort of unhappy. Well, not unhappy but just ready for a change. Since my weight was the one big barrier in front of me, I decided it had to go.

Back in high school, I’d made a valiant effort at weight loss and dropped 30+ lbs in 6 weeks. Then one day I skipped the gym and got out of the habit and eventually dropped my Atkins diet. I figured since it worked the first time it would work again, as long as I could stick with it. Rather, as long as I don’t guilt myself into feeling like a bad person for falling off the wagon. So, I picked it up Atkins eating habits again and decided that I just had to make it work and I did.

I stuck to my diet pretty solidly but didn’t freak out when I didn’t. I even got some exercise in from time to time. I started losing weight slowly and in bursts, I was making progress.

As the weight kept coming off, I kept feeling better about myself.  I started to like what I saw in the mirror again. I started to enjoy shopping for clothes again. I was becoming myself again. A big part of becoming myself again was the surge in sex drive I got after I dropped the first 60 lbs. and really started exercising.

I’ve always been a guy ready for sex at the drop of a hat but after gaining the weight I’d become depressed, disinterested and was even having hard time keeping erections. During that time, jerking off was as mechanical as shaving and showering. After things revved back up, I found that I not only wanted sex more but I also wanted to explore. Sex was exciting again and even though I was only having sex with myself I felt awesome. I felt better than awesome, I felt sexy.

Time went on and things kept progressing positively. Fast forward to three weeks ago and I’d decided that I was ready to actually go have sex with someone else. With as much sex as I’ve had in my life, it’s odd to think that I had to get ready to have sex again but, in this new body, everything is new again. I got on OkCupid and sent a message to boys I thought were cute and funny. Much to my excitement – and surprise – a few actually messaged me back.

After a few tries, I broke my chastity, which was quite fun. Afterward, as I laid in his queen-sized bed staring at the stark white walls, I couldn’t help but feel proud of myself. I’d set a really big goal and I accomplished it. I was myself again, I was happy. As cliché as it sounds, I’d gotten my groove back and it was awesome.

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