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    Between My Sheets

     

    Entries in masturbation (5)

    Do Arousal Creams Work?

    A friend of mine is selling Pure Romance stuff. She was telling me about this arousal cream they sell. I think it sounds cool but it cost like $15 a bottle, is it worth it. Are there any arousal creams you can recommend? Do they even work?

    Short answer: Nope. None. Not at all.

    Long answer: There are no products on the market that have been FDA approved to aid in arousal response. Even drugs like Cialis and Viagra simply mimic the physical symptoms of arousal by dilating a man's blood vessels allowing for more blood flow.

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    Fap, Fap, Fap: Masturbation An Infographic

    Here a fap, there a fap, everywhere a fap fap. Here are some facts and stats to fit your fapping needs. Click the picture to see the longer version.

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    Me & My Buddy

    I’ve been masturbating for as long as I remember. Even though I have sex as much as I would like, there is something that just appeals to me about masturbating. It’s free, always there, always makes me feel happy, and it can be anything I want it to be at any time.  Masturbating is the safest and most reliable form of sex you can ever have and it’s always with someone you love.

    As you can tell I have a very loving relationship with masturbation. It’s because of this that I feel so sad that masturbation gets such a bad reputation. I have heard of people being told that it will make you go blind. That just touching yourself will make your fingers rot. One guy even told me that his mother once told him that spilling his seed would kill his puppy.

    I don’t know what’s wrong with these people. I’ve been jerking it forever and none of my pets have died, my fingers are quite dexterous and though I wear glasses I am far from blind. In fact the only time anything bad has come from masturbating was the time I accidentally got semen in my eye. Even then I learned that when things are shooting a high velocity I should make sure to aim away from my face. So in an attempt to help masturbation get some good PR I thought I might share with you my masturbation story.

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    Household Holes

    For those men who take their masturbation to ridiculous and arguably dangerous heights, well, I have the site for you. Even though it is hard to take it seriously, Household Holes is a site where people put tips, tricks and how-to's for masturbating with anything around the house. Their latest posts include, "It's like a camping trip for your junk", and their most popular post, "seXBOX 360."

    You should check out the site just for hilarity's sake.

     

     

     

     WWW.HOUSEHOLDHOLES.COM

    Male Nudity ≠ Funny

    Recently a friend convinced me to watch, this “stupid funny” movie called Forgetting Sarah Marshal. I was not impressed. The movie itself was fine, standard 2010 Judd Apatow fare, but there were several things that annoyed the hell out of me. Firstly, how the hell does Russell Brand keep getting movie roles? Secondly, how does Mila Kunis keep getting movie roles? Thirdly, what was up with Jason Segel’s nude scene? I’d been warned about the scene before I watched the movie and didn’t really think much of it… until I saw it. After being dumped by the gorgeous Kristen Bell, the freshly showered Segel drops his towel in shock. Big laughs. Laughs? Had this been the other way around there would have been no laughs. This movie would have gotten a NC-17 rating and the DVD commercials would mark this as a major selling point in the “shocking unrated version on DVD and BluRay disc Tuesday.”

    In and of itself I don’t believe the male form is something particularly funny. I don’t laugh when I look in the mirror. I’ve always thought the male form to be strong and beautiful; far too often the male body is used only for comedy’s sake. That alone is not a problem; however, in a scene like the one in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, the body is presented without context. This makes the form itself the object of ridicule.

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