LTASEX

Recently a friend convinced me to watch, this “stupid funny” movie called Forgetting Sarah Marshal. I was not impressed. The movie itself was fine, standard 2010 Judd Apatow fare, but there were several things that annoyed the hell out of me. Firstly, how the hell does Russell Brand keep getting movie roles? Secondly, how does Mila Kunis keep getting movie roles? Thirdly, what was up with Jason Segel’s nude scene? I’d been warned about the scene before I watched the movie and didn’t really think much of it… until I saw it. After being dumped by the gorgeous Kristen Bell, the freshly showered Segel drops his towel in shock. Big laughs. Laughs? Had this been the other way around there would have been no laughs. This movie would have gotten a NC-17 rating and the DVD commercials would mark this as a major selling point in the “shocking unrated version on DVD and BluRay disc Tuesday.”

In and of itself I don’t believe the male form is something particularly funny. I don’t laugh when I look in the mirror. I’ve always thought the male form to be strong and beautiful; far too often the male body is used only for comedy’s sake. That alone is not a problem; however, in a scene like the one in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, the body is presented without context. This makes the form itself the object of ridicule.

Somebody may shoot me for writing this, but in a lot of ways women are lucky for having been oppressed. It’s kind of the same for black people or the way it will be for Mexicans and the LGBT community in a decade or so. Since these groups have been oppressed and are now fighting for their freedoms, people look upon them with a sense of optimism and unsubstantiated reverence. Men, having always been dominant, are not so lucky. Sure, men make more money on average, and if they’re of European decent they probably have a better chance of achieving their goals, but like everyone else they do suffer from some level of grievance. If ever they complain about the very real affliction they experience, they are laughed at and essentially denied the right to their own fight for equality.

A woman who rallies against sexism or objectification and chooses how she wants to define her sexuality is always celebrated. People will congratulate her and write books about how she got her groove back. When men try to do the same they are ostracized, chastised and made to feel as if what they are doing is wrong or amoral. This gender double standard is common within other groups as well. Take for example homosexuality, I think Dave Chappelle put it best, “Gay sex is gross, I’m sorry I just find it to be gross. That is of course unless they’re lesbians. I love lesbians. I love lesbians. I love lesbians. No really, I LOVE lesbians.” Incidentally during this particular skit on his short lived Chappelle’s Show he was using a “pretty white woman” to say the things that, as a man, he would get scalded for saying.

It seems to me that on the average day, a woman is no more likely to be accosted or objectified than anyone else. It also appears that for the most part women have been awarded the freedoms and equality that they rightfully deserve. So my question is why is there such strong animosity towards the male form and male sexuality as whole?

Throughout history vexed peoples always over throw the oppressive regime. Post revolution, the afflicted will harbor resentment, or hatred while the oppressors may feel a deep guilt. These are not conscious emotions but rather a cultural reaction to recent events. In the case of Dudes V. Chicks, it manifests as a vilification of male sexuality and a hypersensitivity to sexism and other forms of gender specific discrimination. 

This particular situation is special in that neither party has yet to openly acknowledge the neo-villainy, and may not be aware of it. Men have always allowed women to have some say over their sexuality, but in this post Susan B. Anthony era we are finding that men are allowing even more control. Keep in mind that in certain situations this control meets and or exceeds that which women have rallied against for themselves. Because of their self-imposed guilt, men see this as a necessary evil to atone for their sins. They are willingly conceding the rights to proudly wield their sword and they are missing out. Sexual exploration in the modern age is something that has to be experienced firsthand. Technology and cultural progression have opened an unfathomable amount of doors for people wishing to explore and define their sexuality.

As men we cannot allow this self imposed fear and censorship to stop us from moving forward. Know that buying a sex toy does not make you a pervert, just as exploring things like anal play will not make you gay. Watching porn will not accost your soul and glancing at those masterfully presented breast does not make you a peeping Tom. Our body is just as sexy and desirable as a woman’s, even though they may not say so. Be able to look in the mirror and recognize that you are beautiful and even with your scrawny arms, growing gut, awkward penis or tragic prematurely receding hairline you are desired.

Now that we have that settled, can we please stop the madness? Russell Brand is terrible, just terrible. I can’t be the only one who thinks so.

Author’s Note: Even as a new age homosexually identified man, I find it difficult to confront this issue without running into the road blocks of self censorship. I know that the ideas presented in this article may be perceived as being misogynistic or sexist, but my intention is nothing more than to state my opinion and hopefully strike a discussion that may get things moving in a positive, more equal direction.